Ancient Wind
by NaughtyRice
Summary: Jin the Wind Master is on a journey to protect his fair princess Aeris from the biggest danger of all. Herself. Crackfic, oneshot, crossoverpairing, waff, random


Once upon a time, in a land far far away, ancient wind blew across the plains, bringing the smells of bright flowers, sunshine and horse shit sweeping over the land. Sitting proudly on a stallion made of wind, sat the proud and mighty-

"Ey!" A voice yelled. Jin, the wind master was hollering about something- "Ey, this is my story, yeah? Why'dn't ya let me tell it?" He brushed his crimson hair out of his face. "Enough of that now. I'm telling the story, so sit back'n listen whydon'tcha?

My name's Jin, the wind master knight. I'm on a mission to travel to somewhere way far away across the land to protect the lady Princess Aeris from herself. Lady's always going down from some reason er another. Like once, I was hangin' out with her to protect her from other knights and crazy things like that and I turn my back to her for all of TWO seconds and there was a FLASH and then a BANG and suddenly she was dead again... dies a lot, that one... not entirely sure why, neither. Just BANG and she's gone. She always comes back, though. Dunno why that is neither. She's died so many times already, I can't even count. Died and died and died and died, like... hm.

Anyway, so I'm headed across the land to protect Princess Aeris! I gotta protect my lady from herself like."

Jin continued blabbering on in such a way that the narrator grew bored and had to interrupt him. Since what Jin was saying wasn't moving the story along in any sense of the word - "Hey!" - the narrator had to move it along to the scene where Jin arrives at the castle.

"Well, I s'pose that might be a bit of alright, because you know, it's really pretty hard to change scenes in conversation and -"

Jin, the obnoxious, annoying ginger with a tendency to talk way too much - "I'll come over there and show you what for, I will." - finally arrived at Princess Aeris' castle, riding the wind across the drawbridge. He spotted Lady Aeris in the garden, surr- "Eh! I can't get it from here, yeah?

"So anyway, as I was saying, I saw the Princess out in her garden, where she always was, out amongst the flowers and trees and whatnot, and so I strode up to her and I said, I said to her, 'Hello, Princess!' And she looked at me and wouldn't you know it she exploded. I waited a few moments and there she was back again and she gave me this bright, sunshiny smile and then she said..."

"Hello, Jin! Aren't my bright sunshiny flowers beautiful today? I could just explode!"

"But she didn't explode that time so she just went on."

"Thank you for coming by to see me! I hope you'll do your best to keep me safe." A sword appeared out of nowhere, striking her in the heart causing Aeris to collapse dead.

"After all, you're my closest friend!" she smiled at him. "Today, Prince Sephiroth will be by," she clapped her hands together. "I'm very excited!"

"And it was just like that, with no help from the narrator that we began planning for Sephiroth's visit. From what the Princess said, he was a real nice guy, a real charming individual so we got everything all fancied up and here he come, right up the drive in a chariot pulled by two big 'ol horses and he come strolling right up the drive with this gigantic sword almost bigger'n he is, and he comes up the lady and he says,"

"Hello Aeris,"

"And wouldn't you just know it, but she actually didn't die that time. She just looked at him and smiled and invited him into the castle for whatever delicate young ladies like the princess do. So they went into the castle and I followed along after 'em because I'm supposed to be looking out for Princess Aeris and she just kept smilin' and smilin' and they were talking about something damn near pointless, and I'm hanging back watching her, sort of waiting fer death number 357, when suddenly Aeris turns to Sephiroth with this big bright look on her face and she started to say somethin' but Sephiroth cut her off like,"

"Aeris I love you and I want you to have my children!"

"Er sommat like that and Aeris gasped and she was so excited, she told him she loved him and they were gonna have some Ancient babies together and it was the damnest thing because when she said that, Sephiroth's eyes got all dark and angry and suddenly he runs her through with her sword, and she dies. Again. And I'm just kind of standing there waiting for her to come back like she always does. But then she don't, so I stand over her body, tears in my eyes and I'm like, 'How can you kill the lady I love?' And he just answered, like,"

"I AM AN ANCIENT,"

"I don't really know what he said. I wasn't listening to him, the ancient windbag. So he and I went a couple rounds there, before I manage to kick him out of the castle and tell 'em to never come back, and he leaves. I'm standing over the Lady's body, crying, right, because I love her and I always have and this time I don't think she's comin' back. So we waited a week, just in case because the lady is a little bit weird and might have come back at any time, and then we buried her out in the field with all her flowers and trees and then that's the end of my story. Take it 'er leave it, that's the whole of the last time I saw Aeris Gainsborough."


End file.
